Scherer & Sons

Fumble-fangers

As I was trying to change the settings on my camera...and listening to a very demanding two foot tall monarch..protest the lack of speed at which I snap to when he's yelling across the gate that keeps him at bay from all of the interesting and deliciously destroyable things in the office...
and
I formatted the CF card accidentally...
AAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrgggg
I lost the two pictures that I had of my wonderful tablemates at the retreat this weekend...and the cool photos I took of the set up and table tops...
AND I lost one of the cutest pictures of Grady's frown that he puts on...
I am so mad at me...
I'm going to go pout...and nap...because this cold is kicking the crap out of my oxygen intake...and Ross is home...Thank the Lord.
So to the gals at the retreat that might check in...I officially would understand if you gave me a V-8 slap in the forehead..because I deserve it...

The four horseman..

and one of them was named Dysentery and he rode a pale horse. In one hand he carried a  roll of toilet paper and in the other a  large sized drum of laundry detergent...
This week was awful (Tues-Tues week before)...and I have seen alot of what could be qualified as "NAS-tee" on the hog farm...however some of this shocked even me...
Before Wednesday at 7 a.m I went from one boy with a stomach virus to four boys with a bug. I had performed two showers on three little boys, changed four sets of sheets..and gone through almost every towel in the house...I started laundry then...and by the next week I am pretty sure I had done 50 loads of laundry ...most of it two or three times..

That plus no sleep looks a bit like this...

I will say that after 48 hours..they were hungry...wanting the usual fare..and I tried a little and paid in laundry...so we waited another 48 hours... bananas, rice, toast, soup...for an entire week....
I skated out (knock on wood) with a very mild case (God is good y'all)...it was on the sixth day that things started finally looked like we might make it through..
Instead of us simply existing laying in a pile on a pallet on the living room floor...in between bouts of laundry that is...

Coop and I recovered the quickest and the other boys followed in a few days ...with the littlest feller taking the longest to get to "normal"...so for all of you flu-bound, GI devastated, illness sufferers out there...we so sympathize...just remember it can't stay forever right?

Bare

...and a bit of a pity party too so if you're not in the mood.....skip this one..

I am trying by the skin of my fingernails not to become THAT mom...ya know the one you see yelling at their kids in public...the one that you say to yourself..."Lordy how can I get away from this train wreck"...and so far in public I have done well...well enough anyways in order to get everything done....at least the emergency stuff and the have-to stuff that needs to be done...

But I don't want to be THAT mom at home either...strident...harpy...exasperated...I want to remember that they are only little for a short time then they fly and it's over....and you can't go back..I want the boys to remember what a fun/firm mom I am...but after 14 months...I am so drained...it's hard to be a success all day.. some days..

Especially after one stocking holder, a toddler bed, a dozen Christmas tree ornaments, and one fireplace screen have been broken in the last two days...a full twenty ounce Coke and a 8 ounce bottle dumped in the floor of the van...now smelling oh so nice outside...two accidents in MY bed...four hours nightly of chasing the bigger two boys back to bed before I just give up...having to schedule surgeries..getting funny looks from ignorant people of "why are you doing ________"....countless death match type brawls between the older two boys...a two year old that constantly tells me "NO"..no matter what I ask him to do or not do...a four year old that disagrees with every answer to every question his inquisitive little brain dreams up...a 15 month old with a fever and a cold..me the only one to provide structure and discipline..I get tired of being the hammer...it gets really old when there's not much time to be fun..

With no downtime...because one of three would always be up...

And I know that there are some that think of this as a karmic turnaround for the way we chose to set up our family...choices that we made with several damn good reasons...none of which really are any of anyone else's business bottom line..that perhaps get some sort of satisfaction out of seeing the struggle...well karma...she's a bitch and she always gets hers...so I'd be careful smiling too hard..

Suffice it to say that I don't ask for help well...and after so long of feeling like an island instead of reaching out ...I'm the type of person that keeps pulling further and further in...cutting off the contact..and I know I know ...stupid move...but that's pride, anger and stubborness for you...makes no sense...I end up feeling like a little popcorn kernel...hard...no value...and snaps off when any heat's applied..

No...I'm not saying that I'm nuts or abusive...just that I'm tired...these feelings come in waves and this weekend was the peak of one any North Shore surfer would be proud to ride....and ready for this to be done...and I have no where else to put it...so I put it here...and I hope that you understand...

You understand don'cha?

Not even one ounce

Challenge update:
Ross goal loss: 30 lbs. Pounds lost as of July 30th: 8 lbs Remaining lbs: 22 lbs.
Dedra goal loss: 30 lbs. Pounds Lost as of July 30th: 0 Remaining lbs: 30 lbs.
Marilyn goal loss: 15 lbs Pounds lost as of July 30: 0 Remaining lbs: 15 lbs.
Summary: Ross is kicking our butts from 8000 miles away.
Is it because he's surviving in 130 degree heat? Is it because he's run out of trail mix?
I don't know.
What I do know is that I coulda been eatin' Cheetos all this time.
I have kept all of my nutritional goals EXCEPT for the eating after 7..that one is really hard for me..I try but so far not as successful as I'd like to be..
And exercise..I' m potty training Deacon...nuf said.
KEEEEEY-RAAAAP.
Harrumph. Well you know what this means eh? No more Mrs. Nice Girl..fat thighs and gut you are going down...jelly butt..it's over between me and you. This means war!

Non-Role Model

'scuse me for saying so but I am absolutely sick of the fascination of folks with Paris Hilton, Spears, Lindsay Lohan and the like..
B grade actresses who are only famous for their ability to screw up and be disgusting in public...
This is what we are teaching our young women of today?...get rich by being on a sex tape?
Whine your way out of responsibility? Education is useless and looks are the end-all? What in the hell is wrong with the American people?...
not the media...they're here to make money...that's their bottom line folks and this is a free market..so they sell what people buy...not their fault...
It's us..
being fascinated by an uneducated spoiled trivial woman who thinks that the rules don't apply to her...
...while our troops are serving and spilling their blood on foreign soil for us to be enamored by her uselessness..
we should all be embarrassed as women...as humans.....and she should have to spend every single one of those forty nights in jail...

Chew Rocks and Spit

The saying..."if money can fix it...it ain't a problem"...can bite me...I know I know I am supposed to realize how blessed I am and I know that ...but it's not the money (although there goes another deductible potentially) it's the inconvenience of these things that torques my tail..

1. We got a new chip in the windshield..seems like every time I go to Austin I get a new chip in the windshield..this ones big..and someone backed into the bus and bent the driver door just a bit on the lip..someone hopefully will be able to just come out and fix this issue (hopefully hopefully).

2. The engine light came on...we have no idea why yet..and the dealership you have to make an appointment to deal with...luckily they do have a car service..if they can get me in this week..GRRRR.

3. The lousy crooks Jiffy Lube folks that changed my oil then tried to con 225 dollars to change out battery cable and a battery...stripped the drain pan nut...so when I went to try and remedy #2..they refused to do it and told me I should go back there and make them fix it..go back to dishonest people and tell them to fix their crappy work they did before they tried to ROB me...ummm..no I'm pretty sure they have a character issue and I am not going back..

As an aside...my bras have issues..I think I need a fitting ala Oprah..maybe things are shifting..I don't know...but when all this is going on a girl needs her bra to fit right?? I mean how am I supposed to put on my "big girl undies" and deal if have the undies aren't working..bottom line I think I need big girl undies..

On the positive side ..I did get to crop last night..just four of us..it was good. I got three good ones done..I'll post them soon..
Sweet Dreams Yall..

PS My buddy Sarah and Lil' Jack are coming to Chez Scherer for Monday and (I think) Tues, or Wed....we should have fun..he's five months younger than Deacon..hopefully hopefully we can get a picture or three of all the little beans and weenies running around out here..

But I'm Not

ever seem like your life is full of shoulds? I should be working or sleeping right now...but I'm not. I should eat better. But I don't. I should take vitamins. but I forget. I once had a therapist friend of mine tell me "don't should on yourself...and don't let anyone else should on you either".
Not been the best afternoon. It's raining today and the kids are cramped. Grady's gums hurt. Deacon is STILL clingy. Mom's dog got loose but not until after he had the poops on the carpet. My glasses broke...
Rocks rocks I wish I could chew on rocks...
Even through all that I see the happenings in Virginia...and know that my darling man is so far away...and it's just one more confirmation folks that tomorrow is not a promise...
So I'll go and get the boys haircuts tomorrow...pick up some pictures...call the pound to see if they've found mom's little juvie pup...and tell everyone that I love them. Twice.
And by the way...I miss you guys.

We missed it by this much..

so this is what the jar looked like before we add 90 more jelly beans..actually I have to add 120 because this one is 30 short ... momma can't add too good. For future reference 119 does not equal 5 months of 30 days...so I gotta start over and count again...Gimme a break people I'm a biology teacher not math.
In any case...when the announcement was made on CNN this is what I thought of first...how am I gonna get more beans in here without being too obvious.

I won't go into the secondary shock and anger and feeling like I had been sideswiped...yea yea they tell you to be prepared for fourteen months...but adding three months doesn't feel good...period. end. of. subject.

Besides if you're close to your loved one every night ...thank your lucky stars there's one like mine whose out there..and keep your "you knew what you were getting into when you married him" to yourself alright? Cause it don't fly...I know that already...and every time when Coop asks where Daddy is...or asks when..or looks at the beans...or cries..I'll just ring you up and let YOU explain it to him. Because I do it alot...and we can share the burden a little you think?

Ok enough of being mad...does no good...we will truck forward...heads held high...and hope that we can webcam for Christmas and the holidays...
and I am off to get my big girl panties on...I deal better that way.
To you guys that called, Emailed, thought of us...or were here..thank you. We know you love us and we love you too!

Measure twice..crop once

OK so dagnabbit...I get all the paper to be organized out...separate it with care according to designer.. (at this point I know some of you are thinking .."gimme a break")...but if i don't see it I don't use it...
Put the first few sections together...then try to put it on my fancy new shelf and...
CRAAAAAAAP...they're too tall..i double checked the package...nope no dimensions...so I didn't check...I have to take them all back (after I opened them all naturally)...and hope that they don't give me any problems..
Well that's the first of many lessons I suppose..like backing up your computer..it always crashes when you haven't..and stuff doesn't fit when you don't measure..

My momma says.."Have a plan and you won't need one..don't have one and well the fecal matter always hits the propeller (and I am paraphrasing there could ya tell?)"

So..I'm off to bed..with my lip stuck out..
Night y'all!

Teflon Bubble and MJ's mitten

Alright...so the day started out as any other...then D had an accident..and all hell broke loose...it's amazing that one kiddo can be so prone to accidentally trying to do himself harm. I try within reason to keep him away from  hot, sharp, hard, fast moving, or anything with any height to it...but there comes a point that short of dressing the little guy in a Teflon coated rubber bubble suit...that ya know..?  He has bruises on his legs from stumbling BARE-footed on carpet...a tiny bruise on his forehead where he walked into the kitchen table..or tumbling into other things...he has NO sense of caution where C has always respected the danger in a thing for the most part..
I may need meds before he turns two at this rate..
Please God let G be easier on the ol' psyche...
Not to mention the fact that there are some things that are truly accidental...like this afternoon...

none of these things however assuages my guilt in it happening...not any of it.

We went to Ikea...we bought things, we looked like the Clampitt's trying to take our haul home...the kids were great...even Deacon who looked like Michael Jackson wearing a glove over his hurt hand to avoid hurting it more...(actually it was a navy colored mitten...but pretty funny all the same)..

Coop's new phrase..."I'd like to _____________ (fill in the blank with whatever obsessively repeated request for something he is unable or not permitted to have at that time or maybe any other time) Would that be cool?...Would it?"...After I stopped laughing I still said no. He did however get some treats for being so good in Ikea... I have great kids..and I love them sometimes so much I think my chest may break open and everything come pouring out of me....even when they are poo flinging monkeys.

On a sadder note...heard from a friend that one of the pilots that died last week I may have known...on an acquaintance level...but still knew the wife by sight...feels like I swallowed a bowling ball because of it...I hate it...that poor family....the pain I cannot even begin to imagine in my worst of nightmares.

I feel selfish for being glad that those that are out or retired already are safe...but by God I am glad...I don't know if I could keep the faith having to go to a friend and loved ones funeral for this thing.....just too overwhelming to really think about...I have over 8 months to go and I have to take it a day at a time...

I was talking with a dear friend today..and we were discussing the need for a pamphlet on "rules of social engagement among parents on a communal playground"...who the hell knows perchance I'll write the damn thing myself..although some of my lines may include
"Take earrings and heels off before you proceed to engage physically with the offending 'ho bag"
or
"Cell phones must be used in less than five minutes during the duration of the playground visit or the mobile device may be forcefully placed into the offenders anus."

OKOK not really but seriously...I'm just saying...dag..some people...
NOW I am finished with that topic...I promised I would let it go and I have...
really..
promise...completely...
gone.

Boy would I like to crop tommorrow...hope I get to ...then I'll have something to share...cause I'm not having much success lately on my own here...
Much love now...
d